Home

EU-speak, now brought to you by AI

Published Wed, 05 Mar 2025 04:11:54 GMT

Welcome to Declassified, a weekly humor column.In the words of a former boss: “We could automate your job.”That is of course nonsense. There’s no way even the most sophisticated software could come up with a list of offensive nicknames for Donald Trump — including “mangled apricot hell beast” — in a little under a week, so I’m safe. But such programs are now playing a bigger and bigger — and dumber and dumber — role in society and politics.You may have seen this week what is perhaps the low point of European politics (with the high point being that Hungarian MEP caught fleeing a lockdown-breaking gay orgy, which will one day be commemorated with a massive statue in Brussels’ Grand Place), when Green MEP Daniel Freund and Hungarian government spokesperson Zoltán Kovács wrote raps (yes, raps) slamming each other using the chatbot ChatGPT. The exchange was every bit as terrible as you would imagine. Freund’s rap about Hungarian Prime...

The age of impunity

Published Wed, 05 Mar 2025 04:11:54 GMT

Ivo Daalder, former U.S. ambassador to NATO, is president of the Chicago Council on Global Affairs and host of the weekly podcast “World Review with Ivo Daalder.”Russian President Vladimir Putin is now wanted for war crimes, with the International Criminal Court issuing a warrant for the his arrest for the illegal abduction of children from war-torn Ukraine to Russia.Putin isn’t about to face trial in the Hague — nor is he likely to be arrested when he travels abroad. But his face has now been indelibly plastered on wanted posters around the world. And much like Charles Taylor of Sierra Leone and Slobodan Milošević of Serbia, Putin faces the risk of one day being caught and held to account for his crimes.Accountability lies at the core of the rule of law. Those accused of committing crimes are arrested, prosecuted and tried, with those found guilty punished for their deeds — at least that’s the theory. In practice, however, accountability is hard, especially in international setting...

For Boris Johnson, every option looks bleak

Published Wed, 05 Mar 2025 04:11:54 GMT

LONDON — In a different era, it had the makings of a good day for Boris Johnson. TV cameras pointed in his direction, the world’s media hanging off his every word — and the scene set in the House of Commons chamber for a new Brexit purity test. But the world has moved on since 2019, and things did not go according to plan. Delivering his defense on Wednesday afternoon at the Commons privileges committee hearing on Partygate, Johnson seemed impatient and tetchy. His pleas of innocence rang hollow in the eyes of his interrogators. Behind him, his lawyer sighed and rolled his eyes.Along the corridor that same afternoon, in the House of Commons chamber for the vote on the “Stormont brake” — a central part of Rishi Sunak’s new Brexit deal — only 21 of Johnson’s 355 fellow Tory MPs followed him through the “no”0 lobby to reject the deal outright. Johnson has always been one of the party’s most transactional politicians, able to embrace endless contradiction...

Barricades and stinking bin bags: Welcome to France, your majesty!

Published Wed, 05 Mar 2025 04:11:54 GMT

PARIS — When King Charles III sets foot on French soil this weekend on his first overseas visit as monarch, he may not get quite the red carpet welcome he was expecting.The last few days in Paris have been marked by rioting in trash-strewn streets, turmoil in parliament and an embattled Emmanuel Macron trying to save his second presidential term from disaster. Scenes in the French capital at times have been reminiscent of “Les Misérables,” with almost nightly protests, barricades of rotting bin bags and a spirit bordering on revolutionary. That the cause of the chaos is Macron’s wildly unpopular decision to raise the pension age —rather than any animosity to Charles himself — will come as little comfort to the British. “A state visit has an element of splendor, with a gala dinner, and it’s not compatible with what’s happening — the demonstrations across Paris, the bins spilling out on the street,” said Pierre-Henri Dumont, an opposition MP for the conservative Les Républic...

‘It’s 50-50’: Erdoğan risks defeat in Turkey’s knife-edge election

Published Wed, 05 Mar 2025 04:11:54 GMT

ANKARA — If civil servants in Ankara are an accurate barometer of shifting fronts in Turkey’s national politics, then the country’s longest serving leader, Recep Tayyip Erdoğan, really could be in trouble in May’s election.The main opposition, the Republican People’s Party (CHP), says bureaucrats are already sending in their resumes in preparation for a new order, sensing that this could be the end of Erdoğan’s more-than-two-decade dominance over the state.That would be a relief to many in the West, who are increasingly frustrated by the Islamist populist’s confrontational statesmanship in a strategic heavyweight of 85 million people. In the past months alone, Turkey has quietly provided Russia with clandestine trade routes to beat sanctions, imposed a veto on Sweden’s entry into NATO and engaged Greece in high-risk brinkmanship with fighter jets over the Aegean.But is the CHP reading too much into the flurry of CVs? Are the functionaries simply hedging their bets?Possibly, bu...

Suspected Iranian-affiliated drone kills US contractor and wounds 5 US service members in northeast Syria

Published Wed, 05 Mar 2025 04:11:54 GMT

 (CNN) — A US contractor was killed on Thursday in Syria after a suspected Iranian-affiliated drone struck a facility housing US personnel in northeast Syria, the Pentagon said in a statement Thursday.Five US service members and an additional US contractor were wounded in the strike.“The intelligence community assess the UAV (unmanned aerial vehicle) to be of Iranian origin,” according to the statement.In response, President Joe Biden authorized a precision airstrike “in eastern Syria against facilities used by groups affiliated with Iran’s Islamic Revolutionary Guards Corps (IRGC),” Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin said in the statement.The US, according to the Pentagon statement, “took proportionate and deliberate action intended to limit the risk of escalation and minimize casualties.”“As President Biden has made clear, we will take all necessary measures to defend our people and will always respond at a time a...

Pastrnak gets 49th goal, Bruins top Montreal, 5th win in row

Published Wed, 05 Mar 2025 04:11:54 GMT

BOSTON (AP) — David Pastrnak scored his 49th goal, Tyler Bertuzzi had a goal and an assist and the Boston Bruins overcame a sluggish performance to beat the Montreal Canadiens 4-2 on Thursday night for their fifth straight victory.Jake DeBrusk scored on a breakaway, David Krejci put home on a rebound midway through the third period and Jeremy Swayman stopped 29 shots for the Bruins, who managed 21 shots and went 0 for 5 on the power play.While denied a chance to clinch the Atlantic Division when Toronto beat Florida, Boston to 55-11-5 and remained on pace to break the league record of 62 wins in a season.“I don’t think we skated very well, but it’s understandable at times,” Boston coach Jim Montgomery said, referencing a busy end-of-season schedule. “But you’ve got to give credit to those guys. We find a way to win hockey games.”Nick Suzuki and Kirby Dach each scored power-play goals against Boston’s No. 1 penalty kill, Suzuki added an assist and Jake Allen m...

Some parents concerned about questions on youth risk behavior survey given in Boston schools

Published Wed, 05 Mar 2025 04:11:54 GMT

Some parents in Boston are concerned about a survey their children were given at school, saying the personal and sexual nature of some of the questions isn’t appropriate for kids in middle school. A scheduled meeting between parents and the school district to discuss the survey Thursday night was canceled at the last minute. One mother spoke to 7NEWS, saying she is upset about the situation. But according to the Boston Public Schools, this survey aims to help students. “I didn’t think it was the appropriate topics to be asking these kids,” North End mother Deirdre Hall said. Hall said her daughter was among a group of sixth graders at the Eliot School in Boston given a youth risk behavior survey last week. “She said ‘Well, one of them asked if I had ever had intercourse,’” Hall said of a conversation with her daughter about questions on the survey. Hall said that information “sort of floored me” because of her child’s grade level. According to Hall, the 54-que...

Knicks lose third straight game as defensive woes continue against rebuilding Magic

Published Wed, 05 Mar 2025 04:11:54 GMT

No Jalen Brunson and no defense down the stretch equaled a disheartening Knicks defeat.After allowing 18 points in the final four minutes — including multiple wide open treys — the Knicks finished their two-game Florida trip winless with a 111-106 loss Thursday night to the Magic.It was a third straight defeat overall for the Knicks (42-33), whose defense is becoming increasingly problematic as the season winds down. Still sitting fifth in the East, they’ve dropped six of their last nine games and are now five games behind the Cavs for fourth seed and just 1 ½ games ahead of No. 6 Miami.”Right now, our team is out of sorts,” Tom Thibodeau said. “You have to pull together in rough times. You get into things together, you get out of things together. There are going to be ups and downs we have to navigate. Everyone does.”New York was without Brunson, who sat with a sprained right hand sustained during Wednesday’s loss in Miami. Bruns...

Magic beat Knicks as rotation alterations continue to take shape

Published Wed, 05 Mar 2025 04:11:54 GMT

As a two-way player for the Orlando Magic, Kevon Harris more than understands the importance of staying ready.It’s why he’s fit in the rotation seamlessly in the previous few games in place of Jalen Suggs, who wasn’t available for Thursday’s 111-106 home win over the New York Knicks Knicks because of a concussion.Harris, who brings similar defensive qualities as Suggs, didn’t play as the Magic once again altered the rotation with Suggs sidelined.Coach Jamahl Mosley opted to use a double-big reserve lineup with Moe Wagner and Goga Bitadze to counter the Knicks’ frontcourt size.The move paid off, with the Magic (31-43) beating the Knicks (42-33) for their first winning streak since early February.Paolo Banchero led the Magic with 21 points, 6 rebounds and 4 assists. He scored 5 points in the final 1 1/2 minutes to help clinch the victory.Cole Anthony had 18 points and 6 rebounds in 26 minutes off the bench.Franz Wagner had 16 points, 6 assists, 3 re...